Friday, January 7, 2011

Sexual immaturity

Apart from religious crisis rocking our world, the crisis emanating from sexual irresponsibility as a result of men not being able (or unwilling) to tame the beast between their legs and women going to lengths to ensure this is so is what will eventually bring the world to pieces.

Looking back at the unit of the society – the family, I ask the question, who are the stakeholders? Firstly, the man and the woman (who fell in love at some point in their lives and decided to spend the rest of their lives together), then the totality of those who attended the wedding ceremony or who knew the change in status of the both of them.

I once read that the ability to delay gratification is a sign of emotional and social maturity but in this generation, the craze for instant gratification is insatiable. There was a video clip which was going round the net some few weeks back about an Edo-based Benin lecturer who went to one of his student's apartment off campus for the usual dose only to be disgraced and extorted. Unfortunately for him, the girl had connived with some campus guys to expose him because he failed her in one of the courses (or did not pass her as much as she wanted). The man was made to remove his trousers and made to sign a cheque for 'the boys' and the lady. It was a very embarrassing clip to say the least. I then wondered what his wife and children will think/do/say/feel. The shame of this man's irresponsibility is borne not only by him but by his entire family. A lifetime of achievement destroyed by some few minutes of foolish randiness. If only we learn discipline, if only we learn that evil lurks around and we take watch like the books of Proverbs advised the young man 'Keep to a path far from her, do not go near the door of her house' (Prov 5:8). If only we can 'flee' from every appearances as these, then our lives and those of loved ones will be much happier and stress-less.
But much of the corrupt acts which has held us captive as a developing nation stem from the goal of having 'more than enough' to satisfy this thirst for instant gratification (women at your beck and call because you can afford to give them those mundane things they desire, toys which you have no need of, etc)

High ranking and low cadre officers are all culprits of these irresponsible acts; many of these men being legally married. The question that comes to mind is 'do men talk about honest truths when they sit down to 'gist'? They would rather drown their conscience with alcohol and 'make their eyes dirty' a la Nice. Men prefer to stay on the 'surface' rather than talk about real truths. They stay on this level because they are too afraid to confront real issues. They hide that part in silence and hope 'everything will be fine'. They block out concerns through hours of mind-numbing television viewing (football), Internet surfing or computer games. How can it be well? I haven't heard of such magic just yet. It's impossible to hide a time bomb underneath your shirt and expect all to be well. I guess one of the reasons for the unexplainable craze for football is because of this fact. So will such a man claim to be mature even though he has clocked 40? What distinguishes such man from an adolescent young man who is yet to come to terms with the raging hormones which he doesn't understand?

Men will prefer to spend carelessly (without long term thought/planning) in order to satisfy their 'big ego', most especially in pleasing the cause of a strange woman. Some men go to lengths to show off what new 'toy' they have just purchased to get their friends jealous. These friends then get the motivation to scout for money to be able to get that toy for themselves too (even the latest version of it). What a cycle???
In scouting for this money, they won't mind changing the figures on the account sheet of the company, conniving with a supplier of goods to inflate prices or over-quoting for services, awarding contracts to family members or friends who are not qualified to do the job, joining themselves to a 'do or die' political party, sabotaging national interest for individual ones, ......... you can add more to this 'normal' acts. How long more then?

I then wonder, can these men teach their children discipline? Can they expect their children to turn out responsible individuals? Will that not amount to double standards?? Let's not leave leprosy and concentrate efforts on curing ring worm like the Yoruba adage says. The issues which stem from these aforementioned behaviours are far too important to be destroyed on the altar of 'ego'.

These are some of my recent musings. I wonder whether there will be an end to these ills. The things of honour have been turned to dishonour while dishonourable now occupies the space in the dictionary where honour used to be. May God help us all.

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