Monday, September 17, 2012

The Connection

In some quarters, you will hear of expatriates boasting amongst themselves of how they laid with two or more Nigerian girls in one night. This they usually do over beer. They devalue educated and hardworking ones in the offices by paying them less, treating them less and then go on to devalue other not-so-educated ones by luring them with gift items and money (since they usually earn well enough to have more than enough to throw around). You will hear some Nigerian males say they feel disgusted with those girls for selling themselves cheap. You can’t be so certain with some men whether their disgust is borne out of positive value system or simply because some of those girls are disinterested in them as they aren’t able to spoil them silly with gifts and money.

Now, many of us will quickly condemn those girls and some of us are those who change figures in our offices and those who will protect the interest of godfathers with our very lives, even those of us who are blindly religious and will throw everything we own at the feet of a man so that we can be blessed (more and more as we never get contented). We are not able to make the connection between the devaluation of our people and our own acts; they seem so unconnected but are they? Can’t we see that the call for visionary leadership is not a call for sentiments (ethnicity/religion) but a call to bring a people to a common vision where each life will be valued and respected (dignified)? Don't get me wrong, I do not encourage waywardness and lasciviousness whether in men or in women but I am seeing beyond the act to some of the underlying factors for such unhealthy and unwise decisions in some folks. Can’t we see that keeping silent when evil administration reigns is the cause of the poverty and desperation which drives our men and women to do things which devalue them as humans?

Can’t we see that nepotism (preferring people in our own family, tribe or religion over others when opportunities open up) prevents the best person (with passion, drive and capacity) from occupying the position which is able to increase value to such an organization (private or public) and by extension the larger society?
Can’t we see that the positions of special assistant to the assistant to the special adviser are meaningless and has no real value in helping to reduce our devaluation? Don't be surprised that it isn't just the President that have such aides, even religious leaders have them.

Can’t we see that throwing our money/material/time at religious leaders/priests when a female neighbour is one of those girls being devalued and whom we have refused to acknowledge and offer support and assistance? Who knows how many males are being used as pimps (supplier of girls) and gay partners all in a bid to make ends meet?

Can’t we see that religious organizations which spends millions and billions on erecting massive buildings instead of investing in the lives of people (who are the main interest for the God we claim to know) are the reasons why some of our people will continue to be devalued by others and our society perpetually retrogressive?
Can’t we see that the disconnectedness among us as a people is the reason why we will continue to be devalued economically, physically, emotionally and every other-wisely?

Can’t we see that this connection being referred to isn’t about a religion but about a love for a kind (same people as us) and a willingness to come together as one so that external influences will not continue to be exploitative of us? Can’t we see that it is really about being our brothers/sisters’ keepers that is the issue?

Can’t we see that it is more of a forgetfulness of who we used to be in values – hardwork, honesty, dignity, good character, simplicity and care for others - that is helping our being used?

Can’t we see that amassing money for the sake of money itself is depriving our kindred from getting basic necessities and thus pushing them to indulge in the businesses which devalue them – yahoo yahoo, runs, fine barra?

Can’t we see that it was merely an opportunity that came our way and that our unwillingness to recreate opportunities for others is tantamount to shutting the door through which we entered and preventing others from accessing it thereby pushing them to become frustrated and desperate?

Can’t we see that there is a connection?

Can’t we see that the reason why some kinds of people are together in a geographical location is so that they can utilize their talents and strengths to make such a place better for everyone there? Can’t we see that there is a reason why humans are not in isolation? Can’t we see that we belong one to another? What happen to the Ubuntu spirit of africa which say I am because you are? Have we forgotten? Yes, attempts have been made (and still being made) to make us forget those beautiful and wonderful aspects of our being and only project the weakness of our culture as who we are. But we do know that those weaknesses were encouraged by mischievious fellows who ravaged us, devalued us and won’t stop the devaluation because it creates free opportunities for them. Can’t we remember?

Can’t we see that buying the 20th pair of shoes and the 50th item of clothing doesn’t really add any value to our kind? Can’t we see that the bling bling is not helping to empower our people but increasing our devaluation? Can't we see that our inability to wear our own hair is also part of our devaluation (self-hate)? Do you know how much some of those hairs cost? Do you know how many ladies have been disgraced and beaten up because they were caught stealing hair? Do you know the lenght some of our girls will go to to get these hair? Have you wondered why other races do not buy hair except for the high class ones among them who have money too much they sometimes just get consumed by the money indulging in all sorts of excesses?

Can't we see that the more (money, resources) we are privileged to have the more we ought to feel privileged to give to others within our societies to help others have 'just enough' to get by instead of resorting to unwise choices?

Can’t we see that the more we keep admiring our fetters as pieces of jewellery, the more the devaluation of our people will persist? Can’t we see that the offsprings of the enslavers know all these things well enough and will continue to do everything they can to ensure status quo remains? Who no like better thing and free thing (resources, labour, sex)? They will continue to dangle mirrors and gins in our faces (modern day ipads, iphones, phones, laptops, notebooks,  wedges, cosmetics, hair, flatter TVs, gadgets, cars..) knowing we are still largely weak eyed and can’t discipline ourselves enough to resist buying even when sometimes we don’t need them. How many people do you know (I know quite a lot) who have Ipads and smartphones who know not what those things are used for but will wield them as symbols of their status of “big bois and bigz girls”?
Can’t we see that materialism is doing us more harm seeing that we were a people who were once ravaged and devalued and those materials are products of those who devalued us (we don't even produce enough food to feed ourselves much more manufacture the most despised kind of phone - Nokia 3310 - in our societies) and those who wish to also take over from where the first masters stopped? Can’t we see that slavery is still with us only that the fetters are no longer physical? Back in the day slave girls will serve the purpose of working in the plantation as well as warming the bed of the master, is this not still what obtains? Who will deliver our people from these fetters? Shouldn’t we all be concerned for our brothers and sistars? Shouldn’t we be concerned for our nation and our continent? Shouldn’t the younger generation be asking some serious questions instead of just “going with the flow” and just buying whatever catches their fancy just because they have the money? Shouldn’t they be organizing themselves as a people who wouldn’t perpetuate the act of devaluation of themselves and subsequent generation?
Are all these things connected?


  1. You mean my phone is despised? My lovely 3310? Hmn! A go fait yo ooo!

    1. lol...If u dare carry a 3310 in this age and time, you may be snubbed by your own friends and some family members. Don't you know it's a crime to not be a big boi/girl? You have to be trendy man...

  2. It is almost hopeless Mary, and the future appears to be bringing no wind of change.
    The current youth is a product of the past, our past being corrupted, disillusioned and disoriented.
    It will only get worse Mary, it will only get worse.
    We already enslave ourselves, via private companies who exploit job seeking graduates, and pretty much enslave them with over time working hours, and days with little pay and sometimes defaulted pay spanning over a period of months, poor working conditions and almost hostile environment.
    ithin that same environment, you will find people playing horrific backstabbing office politics so they can climb higher and attain seemingly better positions dangled infront of them by their employers.
    Most of these employers are Nigerians, full blooded.
    This is why I do not really blame the whites for enslaving us, I blame ourselves because we first enslaved ourselve

    1. It then means we need to find ourselves Tele... We are a lost people (it is glaring), we need to stop and ask some serious questions. I read a quote yesterday "doing what others told me, I was blind. Coming when others called me, I was lost. Then I left everyone and myself inclusive. Then I found myself as well" - Rumi

      We need to find ourselves FIRST. Remind ourselves of the greatness inside of us. It isn't hopeless, rather the light is beginning to shine we just need to uncover the shroud that covers it from glowing bright