In the year 2009, I read a book (for the umpteenth time) “Seven Habits of Highly Effective People” by Stephen Covey and eventually got around to making a personal mission statement as suggested in the book. I printed and hung it on the wall beside by wardrobe where I get to see it every morning as I dress up. I will usually look it up and reaffirm the words to myself as often as possible. I think the words have kinda left the wall into my heart because I can tell you the words and every day I try to ensure that I live according to its tenets. I’m not perfect yet but the journey is not slowing down. When asked by a friend at the beginning of this year what my New Year resolution was, I answered “consistency”. I have tried to walk my talk as much as possible and I have faith that it will become better and better by the day especially with God on my side.
I have been going over the activities of my life this year and preparing to close the door on 2011 and open the door to 2012. I believe that I am on a journey that is getting more and more interesting as I go and I am happy with the turn of events in my life so far. I am thankful as I count my many blessings naming them one after the other. I hope you are too.
With best wishes from me and my family, I wish you a merry Christmas and a fulfilling, peaceful and rewarding 2012.
My Personal Mission Statement:
To express my deepest values and principles in such a manner as to be happy and make a positive impact on others around me.
To fulfill this mission,
I express love: I seek out and love each one regardless of the situation
I sacrifice: I devote my time, talents and resources to achieve my mission
I inspire: I do as I say
I impact: I make a difference in the lives of others
My Roles (According to Priority) in achieving the above mission
Individual: I will be self-starting individual who exercises initiative in accomplishing my life’s goals. I am proactive. and creative. I will maintain a positive attitude and follow a healthy diet/exercise regime
Wife: My husband is the most important person in my life. I will seek to fulfill my marital vows and make my home a place where I, my family, friends and guests find joy, comfort, peace and happiness.
Mother: I will teach my children to love, learn and laugh and to work and develop their unique talents understanding values and principles as opposed to ‘’quick-fixes’’.
Sister: I will be there for support and love
Friend: I will maintain and develop friendships which are ‘congruent’ to my life’s mission.
Christian: I will be a tool in God’s hands. I am a doer of the principles and values as expressed in the bible. I do not follow the crowd but I’m able to maintain a good conscience.
Neighbour: The love of Christ is visible through my action towards others.
Citizen: I value the rights, freedoms and responsibilities of our democratic society. I will be a concerned and informed democratic citizen involved in the political process to ensure my voice is heard and my vote counted.
Worker: I am a high performer in any organization I find myself. I am able to start and ensure I bring a project to a conclusive and meaningful end. I also learn importantly new things everyday.
abandoning stereotypes, changing the society and the world one person at a time, sharing life experiences and learning from them (Watchword is truth).
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
My Personal Mission Statement
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
The Desire and the Sacrifice (of our generation)
If as a young mother, I look at an older woman whose children are all grown and thriving and I try to do what she does, what do you think will happen? My little child (ren) will suffer as I will not be paying the special kind of attention and care required on infants/toddlers. I have drawn this analogy to help us see what our situation in Nigeria is. We are a young mother (developing nation) who is trying to envy older mothers (developed nations) whose children are fully grown. We want to party, dress like, eat like, speak like, and have abandoned fun like the older woman without considering the huge responsibility of nurturing our child (ren) to a level of independence and later on of inter-dependence. Such a well trained child will make us happy and proud as older mothers.
Friday, November 11, 2011
“Factoring the X”
I have followed the TV reality program “The X factor” and many of its likes (Project Fame, Glo Naija sings, American Idol) for a while now. I learn quite a lot from such shows. I saw young Americans display high level of maturity and confidence. A particular 14 yr-old rapper, Brian Bradley (nicknamed Astro) was exemplary for this. The first time I noticed him was during the auditions where he ‘dissed’ Simon (one of the judges) and transitioned into his song. During the live show, he was first to perform and I was stunned with his performance. He was absolutely brilliant.
I saw real emotions show through the contestants when they were told they passed or didn’t go through.
I saw real emotions on the judges’ faces when they had to tell a candidate ‘yes’ or ‘no’.
I saw the tears, the sadness, the disappointments, and hugs of encouragement (and that of genuine happiness).
I saw genuine laughters, smiles, openness and honesty.
I saw passion and expressions of how-badly-I-want-it. For a particular guy, Dexter Haygood the sum of his life was a car and some jackets for a change of clothing. He said he needed to win the competition more than anyone else. When he was told he had made it through to the live show, he was so excited, he dove into the swimming pool (in the judge’s home) fully clothed, shoes, scarf and all. Such momentous expression of "I can't believe this is happening".
I heard songs coming from deep within the souls of those who have the talent for it and who have recognized that talent.
I saw admission of weakness like the guy, Chris Rene, who was trying to stay clean from drugs – barely few months out of rehab.
I saw expressions of great delight, genuine emotions, tears of joy and those of sorrow.
I didn’t see intimidation of younger contestants by the adults. Girls and boys of age range 13 – 16 performed alongside age range 26 – 59. No one felt it was their ‘father’s right to be in the competition. There was no visible expression of superiority or inferiority complexes. It was a true competition. There was respect for one another’s talent and there was respect to/from the judges, voice coaches and other people involved with the show. I don’t know much about what goes on behind the scene but I read through the whole scenes and imagined the scenes not presented on TV.
I didn’t want any of such moments for myself (my voice might not be as good but it isn’t bad) because my purpose doesn’t align with singing on the stage but standing on the stage for some other reasons. I felt my own people deserve chances such as this (in addition to the ones which runs in Nigeria). I really desire more opportunities for more and more Nigerians to explore good passion (expression of talents) and unforgettable moments of their lives.
I saw honest exchanges of greetings and honest assessments of contestants’ performances highlighting details of strengths and weaknesses.
I saw genuine concern in the judges’ communications. I saw the difficulty on the judges’ faces when they had to choose from a number of good singers. Of course they knew from the start that they had to do that but it was clearly difficult. Truth is, no matter how good a voice talent is, there might be another which is more consistent and sultrier. There is also the element of “appeal” to the crowd and to the judges as a factor for selection. More so, only one person will eventually win the competition (I detest the winner-takes-all principle).
“The X factor isn’t just about having the best voice but about the personality, charisma, and having the confidence to carry through” said one of the judges during the live show.
A young black boy, Marcus Canty, acknowledged that music for him was a solace, sort of like a safe haven which prevented him from indulging in vices which were prevalent in his neighbourhood. He also wanted to make his mum proud.
A little girl of 13, Rachel Crowe (with a voice better than that of many music stars) expressed her desire to win so that she could have her own bathroom. She explained that she stays in a 2-room apartment with 5 other members of her family. Such innocent desire.....
I saw beauty in the environment, green landscapes beautifully designed and artistically arranged.
I saw expressions of astonishment, stage fright, speechlessness and shock, and I identified with the sacredness and beauty of each human life.
I saw a journey which at first involved thousands thin down to numbers in the tens.
Something interesting happened on one of the episodes. After having told Melanie Amaro (one of the contestants) that she didn’t make it to the live show, Simon Cowell (the lead judge) admitted to the rest of the judges that he had made a mistake. He immediately set out to make amends by heading to the home of the girl (unknown to her). They were all surprised to see him. He apologized to her and the family admitting he made a serious mistake and asked her to come back into the competition. I saw the expressions of joy on the faces of members of Melanie’s family. This decision changed the allotted number for the girls (from 16 to 17) who went on to the live shows. Well, I guess that's why it’s called "The X- Factor". I learnt a serious lesson from that episode.
In all there were great lessons to learn (never give up on dreams no matter what and no matter how long –Leroy Bell and Stacy Francis) and beautiful expressions of wonderful moments in some other humans’ lives.
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Is it not written?
If I have learnt anything in this life, it is that the only sacred thing in this world is human life not skyscrapers, cars, clothes, money, food, or anything for that matter. And this sacred thing is being defiled on a daily basis, yet religious people tell me “we will keep praying”.
"If you will not hearken unto the voice of the Lord thy God, to observe and to do all his commandments and his statutes which I command thee this day, that all the curses shall come upon thee, and overtake thee. The Lord shall smite thee with madness, and blindness and astonishment of heart. ....And thou shall become an astonishment, a proverb and a byword among all nations where the Lord shall lead thee.....”. "Thy sons and thy daughters shall be given unto another people (let he that has eyes, understand) and thine eyes shall look and fail with longing for them all the day long and there shall be no might in their hands. THE FRUIT OF THY LAND, AND ALL THEY LABOUR SHALL A NATION WHICH THOU KNOWEST NOT EAT UP (does this sound familiar?) AND THOU SHALL BE ONLY OPPRESSED AND CRUSHED AWAY.... "
For such a time as this are we children of the most high. We must sound the message!
Monday, November 7, 2011
Amazing Conspiracy!
Of course we all know that whenever you see a “white” man in any part of the country, his/her job position is a superior one compared to many nationals. They are called expatriates. Even Romanians, Indians, Chinese, Lebanese, South Africans, as long as their skin colour is white. I think the simple definition of these people to a lay man is “a superior being” (I had a debate about the name “Oguntoyinbo” with some Yoruba people over this topic sometime back.). But then again when you do see some behaviours of some of our people, then that definition will not be so far-fetched – it’s like a self-fulfilling prophecy. When people lack decorum, behave like animals (dog eat dog), when leaders see themselves as lords and taskmasters... the definition is just not so far-fetched sometimes.
It doesn’t come to me as a surprise and I do not doubt the story one bit because for fewer benefits many have killed off their brothers and sisters. This can be an action of a people who have lost their identities and who want to identify with another race and think that only by amassing things on the outside like the oyinbo man can he compare with him. Michael Jackson was so talented but he bought into the lie that he was still an inferior being as long as his skin colour remained dark. Eventually the lies destroyed him and we lost him. How many more black man have we lost in that wise and how many more are we losing on a daily basis. Boko Haram members are wreaking havoc on helpless people all in the name of religion forgetting that they share same link in history – common brotherhood - with the same people they are attacking.
Monday, October 31, 2011
Wisdom Speaks
To America and the superpowers of the world “God judges motives”.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
A Letter to the Nigerian Citizen... Part 1
This piece was culled from a book titled "Creating a New Nigeria" by one passionate Nigerian by the name Taulpaul Oselen. He is my first guest poster. Do read and freely make comments afterwards. I believe a new Nigeria is possible but it will take some amount of work and sacricifice by every well-meaning Nigerian.
Slightly modifying the list of national ethics as presented in the 1999 constitution of the Federal republic of Nigeria, we propose the following national values/ethics; Unity, Mutual respect, Self-discipline, Integrity, Resourcefulness, Service, Justice, Interdependence, and Equality. These few were proposed because of their ability to address the complexities of the old Nigeria and deliver to us our future in line with our proposed vision for a new Nigeria. However, no single one in itself is strong enough a foundation for us but working them together produces an unshakable foundation.
The first and most basic step is for you, the Nigerian citizen to identify with, personalize, model and recommend this vision. The next step would be for you to endorse the proposed national values by imbibing and continually practicing them. Remember, it is not enough for us to unlearn old habits (values) but to sustain change we must consciously learn new ones. Thus, we can;
- Relate as individuals not tribes nor sects (breaking stereotypes)
Unity- this is the first ethic proposed because under the old system we were made to think that Nigerians could never be a people with one voice and one vision. In the new Nigeria, we would not preach ethnic/religious tolerance because we would not have to tolerate fellow Nigerians but rather we will see them as brothers, sisters, team members with our best interest at heart and relate to them as such. It is a system based on trust, not on a new found trust but one which has always been there only relegated for selfish interests. Within the old system, many of us, if not all of us at some time trusted these people (of diverse ethnicities or religions) with our greatest asset; our lives.
It may have been as a passenger in a plane, cab or bus (not having to do a check on who the pilot or the driver was); as consumers of meals at hotels, restaurants, eateries or ‘bukas’ (not being overly concerned about where the chef or cook was from); might have been as a sick patient awaiting surgery or urgent treatment at a hospital or traditional home ( not running a verification test on the qualifications of the resident physician or consultant); as our domestic staff in charge of some very personal effects and matters; as an accident victim in desperate need of a rescuer or someone stranded in unknown territory needing help... the examples are endless. Nigerians have always trusted one another regardless of ethnic or religious orientations.
The greater truth is that we did not trust them because we lacked better options; it was most times because they were the best at what they did. It was truly a case of mutual respect (not tolerance) born out of a singular pleasant experience or a series of good relations. However, this was only possible when we considered individuals as persons with unique characters and refused to have a presumed general behavioural pattern (a stereotype). We must endeavour to remove all generalizations and learn to judge each relationship as an isolated case instead of forming patterns (good or bad).
It is high time we made this the pronounced way of life at all levels and refused seeds of division sown by a selected few for selfish reasons and personal gains. Hence, no Nigerian should be regarded
as a stranger nor a settler in any part of the country for we are one people with equal stake in national peace and development. Indeed, Nigeria is our primary constituency. More emphasis should and will be placed on ‘state of residence’ than ‘state of origin’ in the new Nigeria.
- Become worthy Ambassadors
An ambassador is an emissary of one nation to another nation. He is to uphold the acceptable standards of his nation while building a cordial relationship between his nation and the one in which he functions. Nations have no boundaries, no borders they are united by ideologies. As an ambassador it is this ideology you model everywhere you are. Our ideology is who we are and what we are known for. Your role henceforth would be to act as a worthy ambassador of the new Nigeria to the old Nigeria or to any other nation in which you may find yourself.
For this reason, you must become a student of the new Nigeria; comprehend the vision, imbibe the core values and model them. As an ambassador your life takes on a new and inspiring meaning because you may be the only Nigeria some people out there may ever see. You have thus become responsible for the success and good name of this nation. To accomplish this great task you must be able to see clearly the preferred and greater future. This will take an enormous amount of self-discipline; the ability to stay on course, to commit to whatever it requires, remaining focused. No matter what field or industry you find yourself you can be an ambassador.
Self-discipline will make you drop old habits that do not line up with your role as an ambassador and learn new habits that will facilitate your new role. It will cause you to do only the needful and to discard all unrestrained behaviours. It drives you to continually seek the right and latest knowledge regarding whatever you do, so you could be the best at it. When you are self-disciplined, you will not need anyone to motivate you for greatness because you have identified your place in the grand vision and have made a commitment to stay the course. You will continually set goals and achieve them, doing all it takes to be successful at what you do for the sake of a better future. Self-discipline causes you to delay gratification; finding yourself doing what may be inconvenient just to create a future you desire.
However, self-discipline alone if left unchecked can be disastrous. You will need of something else to keep your motives in check, which is Integrity. Integrity is a form of conscience within every man that convicts him to always want to do the right thing regardless of the circumstances. Integrity balances ambition with conscience in our quest for greatness. It is also the strength of will to say what you mean and to mean what you say; this attribute is vital in the life of an ambassador. It makes you realize the power of words; your word has to be your bond if you are to be successful as an ambassador. Integrity is the true value you place on your person.
Your integrity will help align your quest for knowledge and success with God’s plan for humanity. It will keep you from enriching yourself at the expense of the nation’s future. Integrity makes you understand that the means (process, path) is as important as the end (result, outcome). As a result of integrity, in assessing any opportunity for business or gain, you would ask ‘not only is it profitable but is it right?’ In the new Nigeria, decisions would be more people-oriented than money-oriented.
When a people have both self-discipline and integrity functioning in their lives, external warnings like; ‘do not take or give bribes’ or ‘do not dump refuse here’ or ‘do not patronize touts’ become unnecessary because these people now have an inner sense of dignity. Also, the resources committed to fighting all forms of corruption; electoral fraud, advance free-fraud and so on, could be ploughed into more productive and developmental programs. Someone once said, ‘it is much easier to switch on the light than to curse darkness.’ The truth is, if I can influence my world and you can influence your world, then we can influence our world and ultimately influence the world.
This is only possible because the Nigerian has assumed his office as a responsible citizen, a worthy and true Ambassador.
Thank you and God bless Nigeria.
Monday, October 24, 2011
Ongoing Concerns: Fuel Subsidy Removal (FSR)
I have read many articles decrying the decision by the federal government of Nigeria to remove fuel subsidy. I have also watched many interviews on TV and listened to many radio programs about this issue. It has topped the chart on the front pages of most Nigerian dailies since the day it was announced. Some persons speak for the motion while some take the opposite stance.